It’s that time of year again…when children cry and parents cheer. Summer memories of swimming, biking and camping are long gone. But they don’t have to be. You can pack a bit of summer memories in their lunch with these super easy, super chocolatey and super marshmallowey (If that’s not a word, it should be!) S’mores Bars.

And I found this cool new marshmallow creme that tastes like the perfect toasted marshmallow.  You know, the one you set on fire so it gets just a little black but then you eat it and burn your tongue and can’t wait to get another and burn your tongue again?  Well, this stuff tastes like that only without the black burnt pieces. I thought it worked perfectly for these, but regular marshmallow creme is just as delicious.

S’Mores Bars

1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/3 cups flour
3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs
1 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch salt
5 chocolate bars (I used about 12 mini Hershey bars)
1 cup marshmallow creme

Preheat your oven to 350 F.

Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy with a mixer set on high.  Add the egg and vanilla and beat some more.

In another bowl, mix the flour, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder and salt then slowly pour this into the butter/sugar mixture.  Take out about 3/4 cup of this stuff and set it aside.

Take the rest and pat it into a greased 8″x8″ square baking pan.   Set your candy bars on top of this base.  Spread the marshmallow creme over the candy bars. Finally, drop spoonfuls of the graham cracker mixture you set aside on top.

Bake for about 25-30 minutes.  Cool and cut into squares.  Campfire taste without Smoky the Bear showing up.

        

Hubby is taking a renewed interest in our daughters’ extracurricular activities.   Which includes registration at a myriad of school events, rec centers and  doctor’s offices.

Hence we have this actual conversation while signing up Daughter Youngest for a recent event.

Registry person: Child’s age?

Husband: She’s 8. (looking at me)

Me: 9…You know her birthday, right?

Husband: Um…(deadly pause)

Me: November 7, 1999

Husband: Well, she’s in 2nd grade.

Me: 3rd.    Do you even know her NAME?!

Now don’t get me wrong.  Hubby is a loving, doting father who challenges them to wrestling matches on the floor, shows them how to fix a leaky gasket and even teaches our little princesses how to burp the alphabet then gives congratulatory knuckles when they succeed.   (Reminder to self:  See if he’s aware of the sex of our children.)  But while he’s tops in digestive games, he’s lacking in knowledge of the details.

From talking with girlfriends, I believe this may be a deficient chromosome in male DNA.    Which is why I’m still the “go to” person in charge of schedules, birthdays, appointments and deadlines.   And why, when I leave for a night out, I leave notes around the kitchen that say “Remember to feed the kids,” because, yes, it’s necessary.  This is the same man who can recite the batting averages of the entire National League.  This is the man who changed Daughter Eldest’s first diaper wearing a surgical mask and rubber gloves yet still managed to gag and run out of the room as soon as I came to help.

But as they grew in to little people, I would come around a corner and notice him pretending to be asleep as giggling girls smothered him with lipstick.   (Once when he let them give him a lovely purple pedicure, he forgot about it until he was swimming at the pool on a business trip…with his boss.)   This is a man who would willingly make himself a fool to encourage a giggle, be the strong arms that catch a leaping fairy princess in a torn tutu and the one who changes from a tough manly man to a real softie whenever he hears a little voice call for “Daddy.”   Thank God for fathers.

Happy Father’s Day, hon!

        

Every Halloween we have a treasured family tradition that we follow exactly.

• Take kids to pumpkin patch where they lovingly spend 1.2 hours picking out the perfect pumpkin.  Pay $23.75 and bring them home.
• Husband sets up perfect pumpkin carving station complete with newspaper and specialized, intricate carving tools such as the dog food can opener and a bent steak knife.
• Kids lovingly draw faces on the pumpkins that require 1,205 intricate cuts to create.
• Husband cuts tops off pumpkins.  Kids look inside and proclaim that “pumpkin guts are gross!” and refuse to touch them.
• Husband gives them my heirloom silver soup ladle and cajoles them to stop making faces and start digging.
• After 5.7 seconds, children declare pumpkin guts to be “disgusting, cold and icky”.  Children ask to go inside to wash hands and never return.
• Husband retreats to his recliner and picks up remote while muttering something about “every #@%@# year” and “never again.”
• Search for kids unsuccessfully.
• Spend next 3 hours scooping, carving and drilling until sun sets.
• Carry two 23 pound pumpkins to the front porch.
• Dig in junk drawer looking for two stubby candles and box of matches.
• Call kids and husband outside to ooh and ahh and proclaim that these pumpkins are the best they’ve ever done.

Aahhh, memories.  Where would be without family traditions?  I also like to serve a nice warm bowl of soup before they rush to the door and anxiously wait like racehorses chomping at the bit while I take “just one more” photo.  This is one of my faves because it’s super easy and is made with pantry ingredients.

ROASTED PEPPER AND TOMATO SOUP

• 2 Tablespoons butter
• 2 Tablespoons flour
• 16 oz can of whole tomatoes with Italian seasoning, undrained
• 7 oz. jar of roasted red peppers, drained
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 6 oz. can tomato paste
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 Tablespoon sugar
• 1 Tablespoon dried basil or 2 fresh basil leaves, finely chopped
• Salt and pepper to taste

Melt butter in large saucepan.  Stir in flour to make a roux and cook for about 2-3 minutes stirring constantly. Add tomatoes, red peppers, broth, tomato paste, garlic, sugar and salt and pepper. Cook until soup bubbles. Puree with an immersion blender or in batches in a standing blender.

BAT WINGS

4 slices of bread (makes 2 sets of bat wings)
Olive oil, butter or cooking spray
Garlic salt

Tell your kids the garlic in the soup did him in.

        

First, make the cookie dough.  This is my favorite chocolate cookie dough. It holds its shape well and is soft and not too sweet.

Yummy Chocolate Cookie Dough

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 3 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup baking cocoa
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt; gradually add to the creamed mixture.  Try not to eat all the dough. Feel free to chill it if you want but you can work with it now.

Little Martha Stewart type note here – when I make this recipe for grown-up functions, I use cocoa powder instead of the sugar to flatten.  It makes a less sweet cookie.  Also, I leave off eyes and other body parts.  Most adults prefer to eat a cookie without eyes.

You could always put a popsicle stick under these and make lollipop cookies.  You know I love me some food on a stick.

        

You know how you see these holiday specials that show how to make treats for Halloween but they show it to you the DAY before Halloween (I’m not mentioning names…MARTHA!).  Well, how is THAT supposed to help me?  Unlike you (MARTHA!) I don’t have 30 yards of muslin, 2 pounds of fresh truffles and a container of edible gold dust in my closet unlike some insanely rich entertaining guru who has a full time staff, show and a magazine but shall remain nameless.

So, chickens, here is an EASY Halloween treat that you can do with your kids with only three (yes, I said THREE!) ingredients.  And in plenty of time before Halloween.  You’re welcome.

I found these skinnier pretzels. The thick pretzel logs would work fine though.

Ok, ok, parchment or wax paper is technically four things you need.

Yeah, I know we all buy a type of that gel stuff once a year and use only 1/100th of the tube.  So you could totally use chocolate chips, M&M’s, raisins or whatever you have in your cupboard here.  (What UP, Martha!)

Which we totally did.

        

Ok, I admit I’m old and frantic.   But I really don’t remember parents running around like maniacs when I was a kid.  I work from home during the day, but my real job starts at 3:00 pm when the bus pulls up.  Let’s take an honest, unexaggerated look at yesterday, shall we?

• Go to pick up 3rd grader for piano lessons at school. Ask teacher if she knows where my daughter is.  Teacher says daughter must have forgotten about piano and got on the bus to go home.  Ask teacher if she got my note about picking up child.  Teacher explains that she isn’t responsible for daughter’s after school activities.  Mutter and walk back to car as I rush home before bus drops off 3rd grader.
• Call piano teacher to tell her Daughter #2 will not be at lesson.  Piano teacher asks where Daughter #1 is who should have arrived there 45 minutes ago. (!!!!) Rush home and find Daughter #1 at home playing Nintendo because she “forgot” to walk to her lesson too.
• Sigh with relief, hug kids and then lose my temper while I lecture them for 15 minutes on importance of remembering piano lessons are always on Wednesdays.
• Dump contents of overstuffed backpacks and sort through school papers each child brings home.
• Write checks for school pictures ($30 each child), PTA fees ($30 each child), $6 field trip fee and $30 School Fee (What’s THAT for anyway?)
• Start dinner.
• Husband arrives home, sits in recliner and picks up TV remote until dinner.
• Stop 28 times to assist and review 5 math sheets, 2 spelling worksheets, 1 essay, a story using 10 adverbs ending in “ly” and a book report totaling 50 minutes of homework.
• Call hubby to dinner. During dinner, review graded schoolwork with children.
• Children announce that they must wear orange for School Spirit Day which just happens to be tomorrow.  I swear, if we ever move, it will be to a school district that has DENIM as a school color.
• Review note from 3rd grade teacher that some school supplies are missing and due tomorrow.
• Husband returns to recliner and picks up remote.
• Clear table and pile dishes into sink.
• Run out to store to buy two orange t-shirts for School Spirit Day tomorrow.
• Stop at office supply store and buy 1 plain green plastic folder, 3 plain red folders, 2 blue pens, 1 red pen, 1 Post-It note cube, 100 4×6 ruled cards and 3 PLAIN stretchy book covers (Whatever happened to covers made from brown paper bags?)
• Get cashier to give me 10 dimes, 2 quarters, 5 nickels and 10 pennies for 3rd grader’s math homework.
• Run to drugstore and buy “MUST HAVE BY TOMORROW!” hand sanitizer, Kleenex, Ziploc bags, plain white socks, Saran Wrap and disinfectant cleaner. I’m waiting for the day when I’m required to bring in bubble bath for the teacher to relax after work.
• Attend “Meet the Teacher” night and get more forms and listen to requests for donations/volunteers by PTA, music teacher, school secretary, librarian, gym teacher and home room coordinator.
• Guiltily sign up for Halloween party, Teacher Appreciation Dinner, Library Storytime and Cultural Arts Day.
• Return home and sign 12 forms, 3 teacher notes and 2 planners.
• Pack forms, supplies and planners into each child’s backpack.
• Ask if child has books to return to school library.
• Spend 10 minutes looking for library books.
• Remind kids that their homework belongs in their backpacks, not on living room floor.
• Tell kids to get ready for bed.
• Pack lunches
• Tell kids to get ready for bed again.
• Third grader tells me that she has no clean socks.  Throw in load of laundry.
• Tell kids to get IN BED NOW!
• Drop onto sofa.  Husband puts down remote and grins.  Give husband evil eye.  Husband picks up remote again.
• Get youngest a drink of water.
• Tell kids to GO TO SLEEP NOW OR I WILL COME IN THERE AND YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE MY UNHAPPY MOMMY FACE AND I MEAN IT!
• Collapse into bed and pull covers over my head.  Dream of summer vacation.

Here’s my question of the day:  Is it JUST ME!?  Do you feel like your child’s school is a second job?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

        

P.S. – You can make that glaze by mixing a little milk or maple syrup into powdered sugar to get the consistency you want.

        

Americans love any food on a stick. Corn dogs, popsicles, fried cheese, cheesecake, you name it, we put it on a stick so it can be sold at a county fair.

The only problem with food on a stick is disposing of the stick. Until now.

A Pocky is a cookie, but technically a “candy covered biscuit stick.” I get them at the Asian market near our house, but I think World Market carries them too. I like to call them sticks you can eat.

You don’t want the chocolate too thick because it doesn’t coat well and might break your stick Pocky.

Assemble some bowls of yummy dipping stuff.

Voila.

Not pictured: Tropical Pocky**

**My daughters ate the Tropical Pocky (dipped in coconut) before I got my camera ready.

As always, I am grateful if you Digg or Stumble this post if you enjoyed it! Thanks!!!

        

Obviously, I didn’t learn from this. When Daughter Youngest asked for cupcakes for her class, I came up with the stupid bright idea to make a cupcake resembling each of her classmates.

I’m a member of Great Cooks Community, a great blogroll of cooks ranging from hobbyists to pros run by my friend, Jill McKeever. If you like cooking, you need to go join this phenomenal group of people from all over the world who love to share their recipes.

In case you’re also crazy creative enough to try this, here’s what you’ll need:

• Cupcakes (betcha didn’t see that one comin’, did ya?)
• Fondant
• Food coloring
• Mini M&M’s
• Pink coloring gel
• Chocolate melting wafers (I used yellow, milk chocolate and dark chocolate)
• Wax or parchment paper

Break off a piece of fondant and add the food coloring. I found this one called “Flesh” at the cake decorating store (imagine how strange it felt buying something you can eat called “FLESH.”) Add just a bit at a time and knead the fondant (it’ll get more pliable with the warmth of your hands) until the color is well blended. I found I could adjust the skin tone by adding more.

I used marshmallow creme to attach the fondant to the cupcakes but frosting would work fine.

See how it’s on parchment paper? You could use wax paper or a Silpat. Just don’t pour the chocolate directly in your mouth. It might be fun but it won’t accomplish your task. (Although I admit the chocolate squirt bottle makes it too tempting…kind of like those pressurized squirt cans of whipped cream.)

I used more royal icing to attach the hair. One thing I learned from this is that my cupcakes tops were CURVED while my hair had dried on a FLAT surface. Next time I might fill the cupcakes less or shave the tops flat before putting on the fondant.

I can’t say that they’ll recognize themselves. These cupcakes looked much better in my mind (kind of like my life!) But they’ll certainly laugh about them (or at me…not sure which.)

Still, for seven year olds, these are probably cool enough.

If you think I’m crazy enough to warrant a vote at the Great Cooks County Fair cookoff, please be sure to drop a vote here. Voting starts June 1.

        

Ok, so Eleven Year Old asked for cupcakes for her class of 26(!) to celebrate her bday.  This is the image I saw in my head:

Apparently, however, she saw this:

Now, I know cupcakes have been in vogue lately.  Like so many simple things from my childhood, they’ve been “Martha Stewart-ized.”  Oh no…simple chocolate cupcakes like our moms made are no longer sufficient.  Now a simple cupcake can be a major production with vanilla bean from Madagascar, French rose water and gold dust.  Like this from Dozen …which comes with the following description:

The Emily

Named for a wonderful friend, our buttery yellow cupcake is topped with a Tiffany inspired blue royal icing with a hint of lemon and finished with delicate white non-pareils.

I’m not sure when cupcakes started being named like shoes or described like designer couture. Don’t get me wrong. I cleaned my computer screen with my tongue while viewing their cupcakes. But it just sets the standard so high for normal people like me.

As you can tell, I’m not really thrilled with the whole “designerization” (I just made up that word) of simple home cooking.  (I know…cupcakes that look like dogs aren’t really gourmet….it’s just the idea.)

But anyhoo, said Eleven Year Old hardly ever asks for anything so I really wanted to give her this one thing.  But a cake designer, I’m not.

Nevertheless, we rallied the troops and started decorating.

And like all kids who start out excited about something, they bored of it about 20 minutes in and started backing away slowly and quietly so as to avoid my attention as they made their escape. When I looked up to talk to them, they were long gone.

So I finished them myself.  And like all loving mothers who do things for their beloved children, I thought,

“I HOPE she remembers and appreciates all this when she’s 50!”