I don’t know why the French think Americans are clueless when it comes to cooking.  I mean, America has made its own incredible contributions to the world of fine food such as Spam, beef jerky, and our best export, McDonald’s McRib sandwich.

I will admit that the French do know how do soup.   This recipe for Best Onion Soup Ever gets its “Best” and “Ever” from fond.  Fond, as many of you know, is French for “that really tasty stuff that’s stuck to the bottom of your pan, you uncivilized American!” This is a Sunday kind of recipe in that it takes a few hours but you’re not really hands on for most of it.

* That lid is now serving time as a the cymbal in my daughter’s stuffed animal band.

You’ve all heard that you should only cook with wine or spirits that you would drink.   That’s why I advocate tasting the wine before you pour it into your recipe.  Sometimes I test 4 or 5 glassfuls just to be sure.

Now, you may be asking, why are we reducing this over and over and over?  Good question.  (Let’s just pretend you asked, ok?)  Every time you add more liquid and evaporate down (that’s called reduction which is something else the French perfected, you clumsy, cooking-challenged American!), you’re making more sticky brown fond stuff that equals flavor to the nth power. So be sure and scrape down the sides and bottom each time!

Let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes.

If you want extra crispy crouton-like bread, toast your slices in the oven first.

Best Onion Soup Ever

• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter cut into 3 pieces
• 6 large yellow onions sliced
• Kosher salt
• 2 cups water
• 1/2 cup dry sherry
• 4 cups chicken broth
• 2 cups beef broth
• 2 tablespoons dried thyme
• 1 bay leaf
• Fresh black pepper
• 1 small baguette cut into 1/2-inch slices
• 8 ounces shredded Gruyère or Swiss cheese

Adjust the oven rack to the lower-middle position and heat the oven to 325 degrees.

Spray the inside of a Dutch oven with a nonstick cooking spray. Place the butter in the pot and add the onions and a pinch of salt. (It will help draw liquid out of the onions.) Bake in the oven, covered, for about 1 hour. Remove the pot from the oven and stir the onions, scraping the bottom and sides of the pot. Return the pot to the oven with the lid slightly ajar and continue to cook until the onions are very soft and golden brown, 1 1/2 hours longer, stirring the onions and scraping bottom and sides of pot after 1 hour.

Remove pot and place over medium-high heat. (Careful!  The handles are still hot!)  Cook the onions, stirring frequently and scraping bottom and sides of pot, until the liquid evaporates and the onions brown, 15 to 20 minutes, reducing the heat to medium if the onions are browning too quickly. Continue to cook, stirring frequently, until the pot bottom is coated with a dark crust, roughly 6 to 8 minutes, adjusting the heat as necessary.

Stir in the sherry and cook, stirring frequently, until the sherry evaporates, about 5 minutes.   Stir in 1/4 cup water, scraping the pot bottom to loosen that yummy fond and cook until water evaporates and pot bottom has formed another dark crust, 6 to 8 minutes. Repeat process of deglazing 2 or 3 more times, until onions are very dark brown.

Stir in the broths, 2 cups of water, thyme, bay leaf, and 1/2 teaspoon salt, scraping up any final bits of browned crust on bottom and sides of pot.
6. Increase heat to high and bring to simmer. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and simmer for 30 minutes. Remove and discard the bay leaf, then season with salt and pepper.

While the soup simmers, toast the sliced baguette if you like.  Set individual broiler-safe bowls on a baking sheet and fill each with soup. Top each bowl with 1 or 2 baguette slices (do not overlap slices) and sprinkle evenly with  a good melty cheese like Gruyère or Swiss.  Broil carefully until the cheese is melted and bubbly around edges, 3 to 5 minutes. Let cool 5 minutes before serving or you will burn yourself,  you senseless American!

What else is cookin’

• Piña Colada Doughnuts
• Simple Vinaigrette – A Visual Recipe
• Roasted Vegetable Sandwich

        

I’m recovering from a condition…tofuphobia.  Tasteless, shapeless, almost colorless, to me tofu has always had the appeal of a Film Festival featuring the works of Paris Hilton. But as I creep into middle age, I’m starting to look at the foods I once snubbed my nose at like a picky two year old.  And you know what? Some of them really don’t deserve the bad rep.  Of course, I have to convince my family to try them too.  What to do, what to do. I do what all loving mothers and wives do… I trick them. Oh, c’mon, I see you shaking your head saying, “My mom never did that!” Ah, so young…so innocent. (My fellow moms chuckle with me.)

I wanted to sneak a little healthy soy protein into my kids lunchbox so my next experiment was Daughter Oldest’s favorite egg salad.  I like to take a slow but steady approach…lovingly and slowly sneaking incorporating healthy alternatives.  So I add a couple eggs to the mix.  Then you can honestly say, “Yes, it’s made with eggs!”  And they won’t know the difference in the taste either.  Trust me.  Don’t even try to out trick us moms.

Here’s how you do it.

Once you’ve done that, just follow this recipe.

Tofu and Egg Salad

• 1 block well drained firm tofu (If you want baby steps, you can use half this block to increase the egg-tofu ratio)
• 2-3 hard boiled eggs
• 3/4 cup light mayonnaise
• 1 Tablespoon mustard
• 1 tsp. garlic powder
• 2 tsp. dried dill (or 1 tsp. fresh)*
• Pinch of salt
  *NOTE:  I won’t call the egg salad police if you’d rather use your own favorite egg salad seasonings.

Peel and chop the eggs.  Drain the tofu well and cut into cubes (if you’re trying to fool your kids, don’t cut them into exact cubes…chop them into irregular shapes.)  Mix all the remaining ingredients together and toss gently with the chopped eggs and tofu.  Chill for at least 1 hour..this is a must to allow the flavor to penetrate the tofu.  Oh, and don’t tell them until after they come back for seconds.  Another healthy trick for your sneaky mom arsenal.  That’s it.

He said, and I quote, “Great egg salad, hon.”  Ha!

        

So you like Sloppy Joes, right?  Who doesn’t?  (Well, ok, I see you raising your hand, but I also see that you collect those creepy “Little Elvis” Marie Osmond dolls, so how can we trust your opinion?)  But Sloppy Joes + Young Kids = Dog gets extra dinner.  What to do?  Well, rest easy, chickens.  Francie is coming to your rescue with my Neat Joes and they couldn’t be simpler.

First, make your favorite Sloppy Joe recipe.  Here’s mine.  It makes a lot because we like to have leftovers.

SLOPPY JOES

1 lb. ground chuck or lean beef
1 lb. ground turkey or soy crumbles (mixing half of this with the beef still tastes like all beef…sneaky, no?)
1/2 c. finely chopped onion
1 finely chopped red bell pepper
1 finely chopped green bell pepper (gotta sneak in some veggies!)
2 Tablespoons cider vinegar
1 Tablespoon dried mustard
3/4 c. brown sugar
1 (26 oz.) bottle of ketchup
Salt and pepper to season

Brown the beef and turkey/soy with the chopped onion and peppers.  Drain off any grease.  Mix the ketchup, mustard, cider vinegar and brown sugar and pour over beef mixture.  Season with salt and pepper.

Wait a minute, you say!  I know how to make sloppy joes.  What’s this NEAT thing?  Here ya go.

Fill and put the “cap” back on!

The tips just keep comin’!  If you don’t have an expensive mandoline to make paper thin wafers for chips, I bet you have one of these:

Oh, and the dancing chicken?  Well, you’ll have to click here to read my interview at Simmer Til Done to get the scoop on that.  Tell Marilyn I sent ya.

        

Ok, so I’m all, let’s have burgers, and my husband is all, I had burgers for lunch, but I’m all, yes, but these are not your average burgers, these are Crusted Poblano burgers, at which point my husband kind of makes a face at the word “crusted” because it can be associated with things that aren’t necessarily appetizing.  But in this case, oooh, mama!  Because it has poblanos which are one of my favorite foods to cook with. You should have seen him devour this burger and tell me that I could sell it.  Here’s how I brought the magic.  It’s not even really a recipe.

Just take a couple poblano peppers and char them.

When they’re blistered like the photo, toss them into a Ziploc bag or a bowl covered with Saran Wrap and “steam” them for about 10 minutes.  When they’re ready, the skin should just sort of rub off with a paper towel.  Slice them open, deseed and devein and cut them into strips for later.

Then:

TIP ALERT: You know how burgers swell up on the grill as they cook so they look like Joan Collin’s Dynasty shoulderpads?  Well, if you depress the center of the burger in the middle a little, when it grills, it will make a nice even burger, perfect for sitting pickles on.

At the risk of sounding like a creepy bachelor showing off his apartment, might I say “Here’s where the magic happens, baby!”

See that crusty part seals in juices and makes this yummy, crispy outside while the inside is not overdone.  Not to mention all those yummy spicy flavors in every bite.

When it’s done cooking, I toss on a poblano slice, cover with any good melty cheese and then close the grill lid to melt the cheese.  Serve it with a little salsa or hot sauce.

Last but not least, I want to thank Eat from Your Pantry for this lovely award.