Today, children, we’re going to see how simple and wonderful the number 5 is.  These bars are a “So Easy You Can Let Your 5 Year Old Do It” recipe. And “So Good You’ll Have to Fight Your 5 Year Old and 35 Year Old Husband Back from the Plate” good.  And there’s only 5 ingredients.

Really.  Look how simple.  You’ll need…

See? In the words of the Ina Garten, how simple is that?

In case you didn’t catch that, the whole recipe is here.

Cream Cheese Brunch Bars

2 tubes crescent rolls
2 (8 oz.) packages cream cheese, softened (lighter Neufchatel works fine)
1 1/2 cups sugar, divided
1 egg, separated
1-2 teaspoons cinnamon

Spread one tube of the crescent rolls in a 9×13″ baking pan, patting edges together to make a solid crust.  Whip the cream cheese, one cup of the sugar and the egg YOLK (save the white for later).  I mean if you really want to go all Martha Stewart up in here, you can add some lemon juice or vanilla or almond extract.  Spread on the crust.  Top with the other tube of rolls.  You can leave these separate if you want or squeeze together to form a solid top.  Glaze with the beaten egg white.  Mix together the remaining 1/2 cup sugar and the cinnamon.  Sprinkle over the egg white and bake at 350 degrees F for about 20 minutes.

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Seriously, homemade warm bread is probably one of the best things in life…it’s even better than chocolate cake. (What?  Oh, you thought I was gonna say that!?   Wait until I tell your mother!)  But to make yummy homemade bread, you needed to plan hours ahead.  Well, never let it be said that Francie never took on a challenge.  You will need a good mixer that can do the kneading for you.  And then this is all you’ll need…

60 Minute Yeast Rolls

• 4-5 cups flour
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 (1/4 ounce) packages yeast (5 teaspoons)
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup warm water
• 1/4 cup butter or margarine

In a warmed cup or bowl, dissolve yeast in the warm water.   Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, stir milk, sugar, salt and butter together. Heat over low heat until butter melts and sugar dissolves. Cool until lukewarm.

Pour into your mixer bowl and add 4 1/2 cups of flour.  Using your dough hook, mix on low speed for about 1 minute. With the mixer still going, add remaining flour, a little at a time and mix about 2 minutes or until dough starts to clean the sides of the bowl.  Keep mixing (your kneading now) on low speed for about 2 more minutes, or until dough is smooth and elastic – the dough will still be slightly sticky to the touch.

Place dough in a greased bowl, turning it to grease the top. Cover the dough with a clean, dry dish towel, and let it rise in a warm place, free from draft, for about 15 minutes.  (I turn my oven on Warm when I start and turn it off when I start mixing the dough.  This makes a perfect, draft-free, warm spot for my little yeasties to do their magic.)

Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface, and divide into 24 equal pieces. Form each piece into a ball, and place in a greased muffin pan. If you’d rather,  you can simply shape the dough into 24 balls and set them side by side in a greased 9 by 13 baking dish. Cover the muffin pan with the dish towel, and let the dough rise one last time for about 15 minutes.

Bake at 425ºF for 12 minutes, or until the rolls are golden brown. Remove from pans immediately, and cool on wire racks.  Of course, you’re gonna brush them with butter, right?

        

Oh, and I got this lovely award from Betsy at The Homeschool Way.

Thanks so much!

        

Trust me.  You must make these now.  Don’t walk.  Run.

        

P.S. – You can make that glaze by mixing a little milk or maple syrup into powdered sugar to get the consistency you want.

        

We’re taking off for a few days and traveling through the upper south where my family’s from.  See these red dots?  I’ve got relatives there in places too small to find on the map.  Places with mountain names little like Bee Spring, Cave City, Drowning Ford, Big Beaver Lick, Sweet Hollow and Hurricane (that’s pronounced “Hurr-ah-kin”).

As I was preparing for the trip, I got a hankerin’ (gotta talk the talk) for hush puppies.  Hush puppies are de rigueur (er, I mean, necessary) with fried catfish.  Legend says that hush puppies got their name when cooks were cooking at camp and threw cooked bits of cornbread to the dogs to stop them from barking.  I tested this with my dog.  Theory proved.  It works.

        

But Francie, you’re saying, I thought this was a COOKING blog.  Why are you telling us about being humiliated at Wal-Mart?  Well, chickens, sometimes my mind wanders…you know, at my advanced age and all.  But never fear.  Because I have family who keep an eye out for when I wander in the street looking for my glasses, my dear children will remind me that my glasses are, in fact, right on my head, bless them, and have I taken my medication today?

Since they have reminded me that this is a blog about food (while exchanging pitiful glances with one another), I thought I’d bring you a simple recipe.  One that even I can handle.

So here is a lovely muffin recipe with one of those crunchy, crumbly tops you know you really pick off and eat first.

BANANA NUT CRUMB MUFFINS

1 1/2 c. flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 large, ripe bananas, mashed up
3/4 c. sugar
1 egg
1/3 c. butter, melted
1/4 c. finely chopped walnuts, toasted

TOPPING:
1/3 c. brown sugar
1 Tablespoon flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 Tablespoon cold butter
1/4 c. chopped walnuts

In lg bowl, mix the 1st 4 ingredients.
Beat the egg, but not too much…it’s sorry.
Mix bananas, sugar, egg and butter.
Stir into dry mixture just until moistened.
Fill muffin cups 3/4 full.
Combine first 3 topping ingredients.
Cut in butter until crumbly.
Sprinkle over muffins.
Bake at 375° for about 20 minutes, until muffins test done.
Cool in pan for 10 minutes (if you can.)

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My Dad is from the backhills of Kentucky. When I was a kid, we went down to visit all the family in Bee Spring, a small holler populated almost entirely by my cousins, aunts and uncles. I had never experienced an outhouse nor Grandpa’s “coondogs” that slept outside it. Believe me, there’s nothing more invigorating than trying to run to the outhouse at 3am and slam the door before three baying, speeding bloodhounds grab your nightgown and pull you down so you slide down the hill and fall into the creek (must be pronounced ‘crick’.) Ah…good times (shiver).

But I gained more than just an everlasting gratitude for indoor plumbing. I also had some of the finest food I’ve ever eaten. Grandpa’s wife, Dolly Mae, was as fine a cook as they come and the one thing I remember from that trip was Kentucky Biscuits. We had these for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I never tired of them. Recently, I found a recipe for them at My Wooden Spoon and had to cook them right away.

If you’ve never had them, you must try the recipe. They’re incredibly easy, slightly sweet and loved by every kid that’s had them.

KENTUCKY BISCUITS

• 2 c. flour
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• dash of salt
• 2 Tbl. sugar
• 1/2 c. butter
• 3/4 c. buttermilk (I keep powdered buttermilk around in case I don’t have any fresh handy, but My Wooden Spoon suggests adding 1 or 2 Tbsp. of vinegar to regular milk)

PREPARATION:

Mix dry ingredients. Add butter, milk and form into soft dough. (I cut my butter into small slices and worked it in with my hands.) Do not over knead!

Pat into a ungreased pie or cake pan. Dolly Mae made these in a cast iron skillet but mine’s ginormous so I used an 8″ cake pan.

Cut into serving size portions before you cook.

Bake at 400º for 15 to 20 minutes or until done and golden brown. Brush with butter until it’s all melty-like.